Have you ever stopped and wondered why you excel at certain tasks in life and fail miserably at others? Is it luck, experience, a love of that task, or a need to accomplish it? How is it possible to increase performance in those areas?
It may be a combination of all of the above, but one factor eclipses all of those elements: “Self Concept”.
In this article, I am going to define what a self concept is, how it controls our behavior, the three fundamental ingredients that make up the self concept, and how you can drastically improve performance in life by raising your self concept.
In life, our expectations come from our beliefs about ourselves, and the world that we inhabit.
Where do our beliefs come from?
Our beliefs are based on our self-concept, a combination of ideas, thoughts, experiences and things that have happened to us over the course of our lives. We come into the world with no self concept and no negative emotions. Destructive criticism is what leads to a lowering of our self concept. We always perform in a manner that is consistent with this self-concept.
If you have failed at certain tasks in life, your self concept will be lower in that area. When I first began investing in real estate, my first two investments didn’t go as planned (that’s an understatement). My self-concept at that point was very low.
Two events occurred in my life after my self concept took a hit. I enrolled in a real estate coaching program, and I immersed myself in personal development.
Within the next year, my self-concept rose because I felt more confident in my ability to analyze investments and I began to understand the importance of my own thoughts and how they controlled my life.
I was also fortunate to partner with Jake, who also increased my self concept and was a terrific friend who was trying to achieve very similar goals.
We have an overall self concept of our lives, but also various “mini” self concepts in every aspect of our lives.
For instance, how we dress, how much we weigh, what kind of parents we are, what type of investor we are, how good we are in school. Our overall self concept is the average of all of these self concepts that we consider important.
If you want to increase your performance, you need to increase your self-concept. I want you to study this formula and realize how critical your beliefs are to reaching your goals:
If you have limiting beliefs about a certain topic, you can see how it will affect your ability to achieve the goal.
When I began investing in real estate, I was told countless times “You need money to make money”!
I so desired to invest in multifamily, but I thought you needed $$$ to invest. This one thought held me back for so long.
When I realized that you can use OPM (other peoples’ money), did I begin to change my actions to achieve the ultimate goal of financial freedom.
It would have been impossible to acquire an $11 million asset with no money (seller financing for the down payment) down if I thought that I needed money to make money. I needed someone else’s money, and knowledge and experience more than I needed my money.
I have attached our credibility book for you to study our no money down deal:
Three Fundamentals of Self Concept
Our self concept is comprised of three fundamental ingredients that are the keys to unlocking human performance. Here they are:
- Self image
- Self esteem.
We all have a picture in our minds and feelings of the most ideal person that we would like to emulate, whether it would be a role model, teacher, parent, or a combination of people.
My picture was my father, and coincidentally, my path followed his in many respects.
I opened my own restaurant, married an amazing woman and am raising a terrific family.
Your self-ideal acts as a direction, so that we change our behaviors and actions to try to be more like that ideal person. I went to college and ventured into the corporate world, only to be drawn back into the restaurant.
The point is to be careful with who you choose to be that role model.
Many children look up to athletes or movie stars, and begin to act and behave accordingly. Once I began to follow Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar did my self-ideal change drastically and I was able to take actions to lead me to coaching school and now Jake & Gino.
If my self-ideal didn’t change, I can almost guarantee you that I would still be back in the kitchen sweating over a hot stove and not down here in Florida basking in the sunshine.
Our self-image is the picture that we have of ourselves and how we perform. It is the way that we see and think about ourselves, the inner mirror.
Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how much we like ourselves. It is the root of self-concept and the most critical element in all of human performance.
I can give you an example in my life. When we had our first child, I did not approve of my parenting skills, or lack thereof.
Once I began to see myself as a better parent, which came with experience, did I finally feel like a better parent. The more you like yourself, the better you will perform.
Remember, you become what you think about. If you think you are a failure, you will begin to exhibit actions and results that mirror that feeling.
I want to conclude this article with a myth that is destroying our happiness and our ability to share success with others.
If you share your success with others, then people may feel that you are bragging. There is a huge difference with vanity and ego and confidence and liking oneself.
It is impossible to love others more than we love ourselves, and people who like and accept themselves generally like and accept others.
Don’t expect someone to like or respect you if you don’t like yourself.
At Jake and Gino, we are always pumped when a student shares his or her success story and how they were able to increase performance in areas of their life and career. It motivates us and the Jake and Gino community, and gives us hope that we can achieve success in our lives. Jump onto our Facebook Page and share your success with us!
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